This is something that I really wanted to share with my readers, because it has helped me no end.
Seeing a counsellor is great, and it’s given me a new perspective on my anxiety and depression. She has taught me to notice myself more, and it’s pulled up some things that I’ve been doing to myself.
The most important thing I want to pass on to you and want you to think about is this:
How do you speak to yourself?
We talked about this at length, and she explained it like this:
What kind of things do you say to yourself when you’re going about your day to day life?
Are you nice to yourself? Supportive? Kind?
Or do you push yourself around? Do you tell yourself to get on with it, get over it, and sort yourself out?
I realised I was doing the latter. I was being pretty nasty to myself.
It comes back to being a child, and using this harsh voice as a way to motivate yourself. It’s a defence mechanism, to make you stronger.
But in reality, it doesn’t work.
Imagine yourself as a child. A small, innocent child, that is struggling and feels sad and unable to deal with the outside world.
Next, imagine yourself speaking to that child the way you speak to yourself now.
“God come on, you’re useless.”
“Just get over it.”
“You’re such a state.”
Is it helping that child? No.
That small child will cry, it will get upset, and it won’t feel supported or motivated.
Speaking to ourselves in a nice and encouraging way is a massive thing to learn to do, but it’s sooo important.
We treat ourselves so badly when we have anxiety or depression. We can feel pretty useless, and hopeless, and it’s hard to care for yourself sometimes.
We don’t realise the way we speak to ourselves. It’s worth having a think about it, and seeing the way you speak to yourself in your head.
You’ve got to learn to be your own friend. Learn to give yourself the kindness and support you would give to a child, or to a friend, or family member.
Of course, I’m not a counsellor. This is purely something I’ve learnt during my counselling, that I think more people with mental health problems should be aware of.
Imagine the effect this could have on you. Wouldn’t it feel so much better?
We all have to learn to be kinder to ourselves, and give ourselves the support we seek from others.
The best person to start with, is you.
I would love to hear from some of my readers that are struggling with mental health, alongside trying to be a successful and happy person.
Do you speak to yourself kindly? Or do you treat yourself quite badly?
Is this something you want to work on?
I hope this has made you think about it, as it did for me!
Hi, my name’s Laura! I’m obsessed with nude lipsticks, messy buns and cushions. I have so many cushions…
I am passionate about bringing achievable and realistic advice and tips to other women. It’s all about running your own world, and looking & feeling good whilst you do it ♡
A beauty addict, blogging coach and missionary for women’s empowerment.